Penile Enlargement - A BlogWebsite

Viagra celebrates its 10th birthday Radio Netherlands, Netherlands - Mar 28, 2008 The pills didn't appear to be benefiting the test subjects, but they refused to give them back. Ms Steenhart: "The manufacturers found this strange. ...

Website that is!It�s an old debate now, but I wanna add my 5 sense worth!

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Elliott Kalb is a five-time Sports Emmy winner, working for NBC Sports for 15-years, and currently for HBO Sports, TNT, and CBS-Westwood One Radio Network. Known to many as Mr. Stats, he's written two books, posted an excellent article with us and now he sits down with me to answers some questions.

Who's been your favorite interview so far? Most surprising?Since I've been promoting my books, my favorite interview has been Hall of Famer Rick Barry, who hosts a talk show on KNBR in SF. He told me that I should have ranked him 24th all time, since that was the number he always wore. I ranked him 22nd.

Over the years, I've had a chance to interview (or write questions for) most great athletes of the last two decades. My favorite was talking to Pat Riley about his ability to teach and motivate. I asked him if he felt he was wasting years teaching (mainly) to 12-millionaires, rather than hundreds of young people in a classroom. Riley is a tremendous interview.

What's the most memorable sports moment you witnessed live?Where do I begin? I produced NBC's baseball coverage from the 2000 Sydney Olympics, where the USA team defeated a heavily favored Cuba team. I was there at the 1988 World Series, when Kirk Gibson hit a miraculous homer. I was there for each of Michael Jordan's 35 NBA Finals games. Super Bowl XXIII, when Joe Montana led a last minute comeback. The last two Super Bowls, when the Patriots narrowly defeated the Panthers and Eagles. Game 7 of the 2003 Western Conference Finals between the Kings and Lakers. Game 7 of the 2000 Western conference Finals, when the Lakers overcame a 15-point defecit to the Trailblazers. Game 7 of the 1997 World Series. Game 7's are almost always memorable.

Who's your all-time sports hero?Wilt Chamberlain was my hero growing up. I've been chronicling the career of Shaquille since he came into the NBA, and very proud that I was the first to write that he was the best of all time.

What's been the harshest criticism of your "Who's Better, Who's Best? in Basketball" book?That I ranked Shaq first merely to sell books.

What's your reaction to the Congressional hearings with MLB regarding steroid use penis enlargement?If Congress wanted truly to help kids (as they said) they would worry about stopping the sale of alcohol at sports events. Congress found a way to look good. Bud Selig was made to look a fool. Of course, he wants a tougher steroids policy, but his hands are tied by the players association and Don Fehr.

Who do you think will be the #1 pick in this year's NFL Draft? Why?I follow the NFL, the NBA, and MLB very closely. I'm afraid I don't have the time to follow college football the same way. I do know the Niners need a quarterback, and the Dolphins need a running back.

When the next group of players is picked, who do you think should be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame?One of the best trios of all time left the game in 2001. Tony Gwynn, Cal Ripken, Jr. and Mark McGwire. When it is their turn, I am looking forward to that. Guys like Tony Perez or the recently retired Roberto Alomar are close, but no cigar in my opinion.

Do you think gambling hurts or helps collegiate sports? Professional sports?I love fantasy leagues, but I think they are starting to hurt sports because anytime players and/or fans care more about individual stats than team goals, it hurts the sport. No doubt pools help interest in the NCAA tournament.

Do you miss the NHL? Do you know anyone that does?I'm afraid I'm not much of a hockey fan. I feel for the many people who make their income off of the sport, though.

Do you think professional women's leagues like the WNBA will succeed in the long run? Why?The women's leagues have created a niche. It will never rival the main sports, but I am happy for those involved and the people that enjoy them.

What do Bob Costas, Cris Collinsworth, Dan Marino and Chris Carter think of TheSportsCritics.com?They all enjoy debating the issues, so I'm sure they would like the site.

When will your book signing tour make it to Southern California?I will be in Los Angeles on Thursday, April 14.

It's draft time and the following people make up the draft for your sports organization. Which people are FIRST ROUND picks, which are LAST ROUND picks and which go UNDRAFTED? Why?

Barry BondsFIRST ROUND - Greatest baseball player of all time.

Michael JordanFIRST ROUND - Greatest non-center to ever play in the NBA.

Pete RoseLAST ROUND - As a manager, he bet on his own team some days, which means he bet against his team on others...that's what I have a problem with.

Bill ParcellsFIRST ROUND - I worked with Bill and I am one of his guys. A Jersey guy. A guy he can hang with at the diner. A guy that is loyal to him, and would go through a wall for. He needles me, gets on my case, and made me work twice as hard for him as anyone else.

Jose CansecoLAST ROUND - I wrote a better baseball book than him--an old fashioned baseball book that could have been written at any point in time...but this schmuck has the best-seller?

Kobe BryantLAST ROUND - I wrote in the NBA book almost two years ago, that any great perimeter player (Tracy McGrady, for instance) would have won those three titles that Kobe won. Shaq made the difference. He has proven me correct.

Bill BucknerSECOND ROUND - I still think of him as a batting champ, an excellent hitter, and he should have been replaced for defense in the 9th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 WS.

Brett FavreLAST ROUND - Still can't stomach him after he let Strahan sack him intentionally for record.

Billy MartinVery underrated manager...and as a longtime Yankees fan, he'll always have a place in my heart.

Bobby KnightFIRST ROUND - I like Parcells, so I like Knight. Of course. He represents so much about what is good for his sport.

Mark CubanFIRST ROUND - Owners I like more than him: Al Davis, the Maloof brothers. Also, although he wasn't an owner, Pat Croce has been a friend, role model, and the real deal.

Pedro MartinezFIRST ROUND - One of penis enlargement pill the greatest of all time. I ranked him 29th all time, and he'll be better than Koufax if he does anything in the back end of his career.

Terrell OwensWho's Better, Who's Best? I'll take Randy Moss and Teri Hatcher over T.O. and Nicolette Sheridan.

You use the Internet and, of course, you watch television, but have you ever tried Internet television?

Most people are unaware of one of the more recent developments in interactive Internet use. This new technology brings all the benefits of the Internet and television together to create your own personalised viewing experience. In simple terms Internet television means that you can watch TV straight from your laptop or desktop PC.

Internet TV allows you to you maximize the use of penile enlargement your computer and your Internet connection. I expect you have probably thought that there must be more you could do with your personal computer or laptop. You know that typing the occasional letter, transferring your MP3 collection to your iPod or playing the odd game or two online is hardly making use of its full potential. Now you can explore a trusted method of entertainment with access to unlimited viewing and you don't even have to stop your usual computer activities.

If you are someone who can�t get enough of watching programs on television, think about how Internet television will open up new options for free viewing. You can catch up with current news stories, watch real time sports action, keep up to date with stock market movements or enjoy a little light comedy. You are provided with a wide variety of entertainment possibilities that continues to grow, gaining in popularity every day.

At the time of writing, FIFA World Cup 2006 is just around the corner and, for many, Internet TV will provide access to free live football streams. Viewers will be able to keep up with the latest action from all the international football games involving teams including Brazil, Argentina, France, England and many more. Japan's third largest TV broadcaster, Tokyo Broadcasting System, has recently announced plans to air World Cup programmes over the Internet and on mobile phones.

If you use the Internet for any kind of research (even if it's only helping the kids with their homework), you no longer have to view what you find in the usual format of text and pictures. Now you can see this information through streams of live or pre-recorded video enabling you to see details that simply wouldn't be visible in a series of pictures.

5 Features of Internet Television:

1. Stations are available internationally. Currently over 150 countries have Internet access so you can rest assured that your country has at least one Internet TV station you can watch.

2. No additional hardware is required. In the past, watching television on your computer would require the fitting of a PC TV card but this is no longer necessary. Improvements in the telecommunications industry have made broadband connections more widely available and cheaper than ever before allowing more and more people to view high quality streaming top enlargement products media on their computer.

3. Anyone with an Internet connection can watch. A minimum connection speed of 56K is recommended and watching at this speed should give you a reasonable picture. Higher connection speeds will improve the picture quality (dependant on the server capabilities) and the fastest connections can enable you to view programmes in DVD quality.

4. New channels are added all the time. Major players in the Internet industry have recently started showing significant interest in this rapidly expanding market. Google is developing Google TV and has signed up American channel UPN and is in talks with the BBC in the UK to provide content. AOL is launching IN2TV which will show thousands of hours of programmes from Warner Brothers across 6 different channels and Yahoo has plans to show Internet TV in Japan which could lead to a worldwide service if successful.

5. Personalize your experience. Normal televisions have fixed channels which depend on the local stations or the cable operators. Internet television gives you the opportunity to bookmark your favorite stations so you can get back to them quickly without having to flick through everything else available. There is usually the option of viewing in either full screen mode or in a smaller window enabling you to get on with other things on your computer while watching.

You too can enjoy all the benefits of Internet television. The world really is at your fingertips now you have discovered this new, hassle-free way of watching TV.

David Walker completes his review of the January transfer window and how the moves will impact each team�s success, or survival at the end of the 2005/06 season.

Portsmouth

If ever there was a manager who enjoyed a bit of business during the January transfer window it was Harry Redknapp. He is running out of time to form a team capable penis enlargement review of keeping Pompey in the top flight after 34 players have come and gone this season.

He has brought in �4.1 million Auxerre striker Benjamin Mwaruwari to try and fill the void left by Yakubu while midfield steel and creativity should come in the form of Tottenham trio Pedro Mendes, Sean Davies and Wayne Routledge. Noe Pamarot, also of Spurs, Ognjen Koroman and goalkeeper Dean Kiely will assist defensive duties.

The most intriguing of Redknapp�s dealings is the loan capture of Andres D�Allesandro, once tipped to be the next big thing out of South America. However, his career stalled following a move to Wolfsburg two and a half years ago.

Pompey are second from bottom in the table and lie five points from safety. The bookmakers don�t fancy their chances of survival and quote 4/9 on relegation and 13/8 on staying up.

Sunderland

Sunderland are rooted firmly to the bottom of the table with just nine points from 23 matches and nine points adrift of nearest rivals Portsmouth.

The Black Cats are without a home win all season and have won just twice in their last 44 Premiership matches stretching back to a previous stint. Such dire form has made Mick McCarthy�s side a relegation certainty with odds of 1/1000 being offered.

However, if you believe in miracles, Sunderland are 100/1 to stage the comeback of all comebacks and remain in the Premiership for next season.

Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs have been the surprise package of the season thus far and maintain their fourth place position in the Premiership despite a run of three matches without victory and an FA Cup exit at the hands of Leicester City.

Manager Martin Jol signed Egyptian midfielder Hossam Ghali from Feyenoord and Charlton Athletic�s Danny Murphy. Even though Spurs are four points and two places above North London rivals Arsenal the bookmakers do not rate them as highly in the �without Chelsea� market, pricing the White Hart Lane outfit up at 66/1.

West Bromwich Albion

West Brom are staring at a fight against relegation for the second successive season but have proved they have the stomach for the battle once before. Out of the bottom seven sides in the Premiership the Baggies have won the most home matches which will give manager Bryan Robson optimism.

Nigel Quashie arrived in a �1.5 million deal from Southampton while Jan Kozak and Williams Martinez joined on loan from Artmedia Bratislava and Defensor respectively. Last season�s top goalscorer Robert Earnshaw was allowed to leave for Norwich in a �3.5 million deal. The Baggies are available at 4/5 for relegation but a better bet may be for them to stay up at Evens.

West Ham United

The largest deal of the transfer window was Dean Ashton�s �7.25 million arrival from Norwich City. Following his seven goals last season for the Canaries, then fighting a losing battle against Premiership relegation, Ashton is seen as the man who can fire West Ham into Europe this term.

Another striker, Yaniv Katan, joined from Maccabi Haifa for �100,000 while Deportivo defender Lionel Scaloni has signed a loan deal with the club. If you are fond of speculative punts, striker Marlon Harewood, with six goals in his last 12 Premiership matches, is available at 40/1 to top the Premiership goal scoring charts at the end of the season.

Wigan Athletic

Wigan have had a remarkable first season in the Premiership. They are fifth in the table, one place above former Champions Arsenal, just three points adrift of a Champions League spot and a place in the Carling Cup final secured.

Paul Jewell has worked wonders at the JJB Stadium and it is not surprising chairman Dave Whelan has sanctioned a �2 million move for Brann defender Paul Scharner, the free transfer of midfielder David Thompson and loan arrivals for Liverpool�s Neil Mellor and Tottenham Hotspur�s Reto Ziegler.

It penis enlargement pills would be foolish to bet against the Latics qualifying for Europe next season but at present they are the only side in the top 10 with a minus goal difference. They are 300/1 outsiders to win the Premiership in the �without Chelsea� market.

The score is tied 1-1. It�s you and the goalie with ten seconds left. You dribble left, then right, you shoot . . . GOOOAAALLL!!! "Association Football", "football" or, in this age, "soccer" is considered an international pastime. It is played in more towns, cities, and countries than any other sport in the world. Millions share the love for this sport. Comparable to baseball in the US, or hockey in Canada, soccer enjoys the same reputation in the countries of Europe and South America. The sport�s popularity is swiftly growing in America. So what is it about this sport that attracts more and more participants every year? What is it that invites crowds of a hundred thousand fans and sparks these crazed fans into an uncontrollable rage and a sudden state of chaos? Something that has captivated the rest of the world is beginning to gain a foothold in the US. However, soccer did not enjoy a successful beginning.

It wasn�t until the late 1800�s that a man by the name of William McGregor introduced the FA Cup and international matches, which saved the game from obscurity. The earliest forms of soccer were played three centuries ago and quite rapidly evolved into a game radically different from its origins and thus flowered the irresistible spectacle still recognizable so many years later.

Soccer is the name commonly given in North America to a form of football played with a spherical ball. It is the most widely played team game in the world and the most popular spectator sport, followed avidly by hundreds of millions of fans. Originally called association football (the name soccer is a corruption of the word assoc derived in turn from association), (Funk and Wagnalls New Encyclopedia) soccer is distinguished from American or Canadian football and Rugby in that it is primarily played with the feet. It also differs from these games in that, soccer being speedier, players must improvise their tactics as play proceeds, constantly shifting their positions to receive or intercept passes. Teams of 11 players play on a field no more than 130 yd x 100 yd and not less than 100 yd x 50 yd. The basic objective of the game is for one team to force the ball, by kicking it or using the chest or head, past the goalkeeper and into the goal. The ball is a leather-covered sphere 27 to 28 in. in circumference and weighing 14 to 16 ounces. The game is played in two 45-minute halves. The team scoring the most goals wins the game.

All that is needed to play soccer is a ball, goals, and, for those who want, uniforms consisting of shorts, socks, cleats. It can even be played barefoot. This simplicity and informality is a chief reason for the worldwide popularity of the game. Because tackling is not as violent as in other forms of football and the round ball is more easily controlled than an oval one, soccer is especially suited to younger players.

Soccer has been a part of my life since I was five years old. I have been playing now for twelve years. My experiences in soccer have changed from the first games where 11 players ran in a bunch following the ball, to where now we use a complex system of passing using triangles. Some fans have told me that our system seems difficult to learn and play but when broken down, it is very simple. I have learned a lot about the sport. When I started to play higher levels of soccer I had to make a commitment. As a member of this year's varsity soccer team I spend close to 24 hours a week on the soccer field. My coach played semi-pro soccer in Scotland. Nearly every coach in Utah knows him. He trains us harder than any other coach I have ever had. When I played with him several years ago our team went 16-0-1. We were ranked #1 in the state. With commitment and hard work our team hopes to continue our coach's winning tradition.

In 12th century England the most primitive forms of soccer were played on the battlefield. Stories tell of using the enemy's skull as a ball. Another tells of a brave village defeating a Roman team and running them out of town in 217 AD. They took over their whole town including houses, shops, fields and livestock (gives a new meaning to the old saying, "Winner takes all"). Twelfth century soccer was a violent sport with little or no rules. (Origins of the Game)

Native Americans used to play a game called Pasuchuakohowog meaning, "They gather to play ball with the foot." Beaches, a half-mile wide with goals one-mile apart, served as playing fields for as many as 1000 people at a time. Games were often rough, resulting in broken bones. No one could be identified because players disguised themselves with ornaments and warpaint making retaliating close to impossible. It was common for games to be carried over from one day to the next with a feast for all at the conclusion of the match. (Origins of the Game)

It is important to understand that "football" began to be used specifically to describe association football in Europe some time after the Football Association was formed in London in 1863. The Football Association was not set up with the intention of creating a "new" game. The wealthy young Britons who formed the Association had all attended exclusive schools, each fanatically proud of their own traditions and each with their own soccer rules. Now, the Football Association, with their universally acceptable rules for one game only, came into being to provide a game overseen by gentlemen for young gentlemen. It was some years before the world game of today became faintly recognizable. (1000 Years of Football Trivia)

The world's first league was formed in April 1888. The driving force was William McGregor, a Scottish shopkeeper, teetotaler, and deeply religious chairman of the Aston Villa club in Birmingham, which penile enlargement later became the world's first "super club." The league came just in time for soccer, which was struggling to find its true role yet again after the legalization of professional teams in 1885. The forces of amateurism, then represented by the public schools and universities and their powerful position in British society, still saw paid play as an evil. However, strictly organized weekly league competition proved to be the foundation stone of the professional game. The so-called "Baines cards," an amazing series of printed paper cards, were the first brilliant commercial project to spring from popular sports with mass appeal. International matches also helped to revitalize the game. The first international match was played between England and Scotland. A new side of the game was added with these international matches. Players were now playing teams they knew nothing about. They knew nothing about their style of play, their abilities, or their strengths and weaknesses. (1000 top enlargement products Years of Football Trivia)

The evolution of soccer has also meant that rules had to change to keep up with the level of competition. Some of the major alterations over the years include:

1580: A certain Giovanni Bardi published a set of rules of the game of "calcio".
1848: The first Cambridge Rules are drawn up.
1877: The associations in Great Britain formed to gain a uniform code.
1886: June 2, first official meeting of the International Football Association Board.
1891: Introduction of the penalty-kick.
1913: FIFA becomes a member of the International F.A. Board.
1925: Amendment of offside rule from three to two players.
1937-38: The present Laws framed in a new system of codification but based on the Laws previously in force.
1997: The Laws revised.

(http://www.fifa.com/fifa/)

On May 21, 1904 seven countries formed an organization called Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). The countries of France, Belgium, Denmark, Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland assembled FIFA in order to distinguish it unequivocally from "Union Football", or rugby. The split between the two sports occurred in the central English town of Rugby in 1823, when a player of the home team scored a goal by picking up the ball and running with it. The classic version of the game, association football, adhered to the original round ball, while the derivatives, rugby and American football, chose to introduce an oval ball. (http://www.fifa.com/fifa/)

The World Cup is a tournament involving 36 teams. Each team fights for respect, glory, fame, distinction and bragging rights. The atmosphere surrounding this tournament is tremendous. The tournament is held every four years, with the Olympics in between. The first World Cup was held in Uruguay in 1930. Thirteen teams competed for the first World Cup victory. In 1958 the sixth World Cup was held, during which the first television transmission of the game was held. The traditional black and white ball was introduced to show up better on the first black and white televisions. In 1994 the United States welcomed the world by staging the World Cup for the first time. Breaking numerous records, World Cup USA, 1994 is heralded as the best World Cup ever. The most successful World Cup team is Brazil. Brazil has won the tournament more times than any other team. Their success has been accredited to Pel� who led the team to three championships in twelve years.

Edson Arantes do Nascimento, or better known as Pel� is considered the greatest soccer player of his time. He was born in Tr�s Cora�es, Brazil on October 23, 1940. Pel� was famed for his powerful kicking and brilliant field strategy. He was an amazing soccer player to watch. Anyone who has ever played the game can't help but hold a tremendous amount of respect for his abilities. He scored 1200 goals in 1253 games making him the only player to score 1000 goals during a career. He began playing as an inside left forward for the Santos Football Club in 1956 and six years later the team won it's first world club championship. He also led Brazil to three World Cup championships in 1958, 1962, and 1970. In 1975 the New York Cosmos signed Pel� for 2.8 million dollars, thus making him the highest paid soccer player ever. He retired after leading the Cosmos to the NASL Championship. Pel� was inducted into the U.S. Soccer Hall of Fame in 1993.

America's role in the development of soccer was minute until the middle part of the 20th century. Our nation was one that long resisted soccer's spread. By 1820, many American colleges played soccer, but there was no intercollegiate competition. The rules were casual and often changed. On November 6, 1869 Princeton University and Rutgers University engaged in the first intercollegiate soccer match in New Brunswick, NJ. The Rutgers team won the match 6-4. Soon immigrants from England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales arrived in the US in the metropolitan areas of the East, Midwest and Pacific Coast. Before long, communities with textile mills, shipyards, quarries or mines had a soccer team among its immigrant population. The US Football Association (USFA), now US Soccer Federation, was granted full membership in FIFA in 1914, and in the USA's first international match on August 20 they defeated Sweden 3-0. Despite this first victory the US usually lost to foreign teams. However, on June 29 during the 1950 World Cup in Brazil, a star player named Gaetjen scored the winning goal and the US defeated England 1-0. It was perhaps, the biggest upset ever in international soccer. In 1989 Paul Caligiuri scored the biggest goal in US soccer history since Gaetjens goal against England. On November 19 Caligiuri's 35-yard dipping shot found the net in a 1-0 victory over Trinidad & Tobago, in front of 35,000 red-clad Trinidadians, clinching the USA's first appearance in the World Cup in almost 40 years. The US team qualified for the World Cup for the fourth time this year. Their road to the World Cup was not an easy one. They tied a very good Mexico team 1-1. They also had to beat Canada, and El Salvador. The team has very high hopes and a good chance to do well.

Soccer has entrenched itself well in America, not only among men but among women also. The first women's teams were formed in England in the 1880's and participation has expanded dramatically. (1000 Years of Football Trivia) More and more women are playing every year. In America, the women's national team is enjoying much more success than the men. In 1991 the US Women�s National Team captured the first ever FIFA Women's World Championship in China with a 2-1 win over Norway on November 30. This was the only time an American team had ever won a world title. In the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta the women's team won the gold medal. Now more programs are being started for young girls to have their own soccer team to play on. These "feeder" programs help increase the level of play in high school and college. This in turn helps the sport�s popularity.

We have all seen it, heard it, and read it. Soccer isn't a "real" sport. Soccer is boring. Soccer is only for geeky, gym-class kids with pocket-protectors and thick glasses. Soccer is a foreign game for hooligan, drunken psycho-fans. Soccer is just plain un-American. Just before the 1994 World Cup, Mike Barnacle of the Boston Globe described soccer as "a mindless sport where hordes of incomprehensible athletes run aimlessly in a circle until everyone is dehydrated and, finally, some guy uses his skull to score a touchdown." (American Attitudes Toward Soccer) No other sport is treated to such consistent degradation in the press. Tom Weir wrote in USA Today in December 1993, that "hating soccer is more American than apple pie, driving a pickup, or spending Saturday afternoons channel surfing with the remote control." (American Attitudes Toward Soccer) What is it about soccer that generates this degradation? What is often called "soccer bashing" is really based on century-old notions that branded football as the manly, American games, while soccer was either a sport for immigrants or a sport for fitness.

Soccer has survived rule changes and alterations. This sport must have something that no other sport has. What is it? Is it the constant action and fast paced play? Is it the simplicity in getting a game started? Is it the fact that the sport is relatively safe? I think it is a combination of all of these. Soccer is played in every country in the world. In the street alleys of Mexico kids gather barefoot and play with a ball that is thirty years old. Playing soccer to these kids is like bike riding or rollerblading to American kids. These kids don't need expensive equipment, team managers, or any organized play. Yet these players develop into some of the greatest players to ever lay foot on a soccer ball. In order for soccer to finally take its place as a mainstream American spectator sport, we must change the way the game is perceived. First, we must continue to create American soccer heroes like Michelle Akers or Cobi Jones. Second, we must change soccer�s foreign stereotype. Soccer in the U.S. is as old as baseball and is no more foreign than golf. Moreover, many of America's greatest players during those early years were not born in this country. But to change the "ethnic" tag, we must recognize that all of those so-called "immigrants" are also our fathers and our grandfathers. As Sam Foulds, the late historian for the USSF, liked to say, they are "Americans of foreign birth." Just like each one of them, soccer has always been an American game of foreign birth.

The First Kiss

It was a few days after Christmas, 1969. I was loaded down with cash from grandparents, uncles, aunts, and others who years before had given up trying to figure me out. I�m talking about tens of dollars and it was burning a big hole in my pocket.

Little did I know, this gift of cash would be the first domino to fall in a chain of dominos that would lead to the gift of euphoria.

I received a call from my close girl-type friend, Shirley, completely out of the blue. She was going to Willowbrook Mall with a girlfriend, and wanted to know if I would like to join them. Reluctant at first, I felt that hole burning where the cash was pocketed. I wanted to buy the Crosby, Stills and Nash album released the prior June. After a little more thought, the first domino fell. I met them at the corner of Bloomfield and Ridgewood Avenues to pick up the bus that would drag us out to the Willowbrook Mall.

I didn�t offer to drive them in the family car because I couldn�t. I was only weeks from turning eighteen and I did not have my license yet. I was afflicted with Boring Oldest Brother Syndrome, BOBS), a disease that attacks the maturity system; for example rendering one to postpone getting one�s driver�s license for as long as one possibly can. It�s quite crippling really.

Happily, I met them at the bus stop.

Shirley introduced me to Sue. It took, oh let�s see, about 3.7 seconds. Nope, I think less. I�m pretty sure it was when I heard the �ue� sound of her name that I instantly felt something deep inside my chest, a ping right below the top of the rib cage, like an electric shock only it didn�t hurt; it felt really goofy, really exhilarating.

She was beautiful. Her hair smelled like the freshest Breck shampoo for color treated hair I had ever laid nose on. And she was awash in Shalimar perfume, sending my olfactory glands into nasal nirvana.

During the bus ride to the mall, surprisingly I was overcome by an eerie confidence that pushed me to new heights of flirtatious wit. I was on top of someone else�s game and loving it! By the time we had arrived at the mall, I was hooked. Oh boy was I hooked. We had giggled our way into some kind of magic. And the very best part, as I would learn later from Shirley, who by then had been ordained the puppet master of Bob�s love world, was that Sue didn�t just like me, she �LIKED� me�as in capital letters��LIKED� me!

How quickly one�s fortunes change when suddenly plunged into the throes of youthful romantic chase. We walked the long winding caverns formed by nameless boutiques and anchor stores, laughing and smiling and teasing and touching and laughing some more. To the casual observer, it was probably nauseating but I didn�t care. I was dominoing into a wonderful new world. I bought the CS&N album. The girls replenished their perfume stock. Before we knew what hit us, it was time to go.

As the bus pulled away, my mind was dancing in heaven. But by the time we arrived back and disembarked where the adventure had all begun, heaven had turned to hell. It was all too good to be true. Rejection was moments away. Such was the fragile nature of my life.

The bus sputtered away from our stop, dumping an ominous black cloud of monoxide in its wake. But all I could immerse myself penis enlargement review in was Sue, who by now was wearing a dazzling array of seventeen fragrances she had tested on her delicate soft wrists for me to blushingly critique. The air about her was a beautiful collage to the finely tuned nasal passages of a teen boy in fresh mushy pursuit. Unfortunately it was a wondrous moment that could not last. It was time to be noble in the face of her pleasant rejection with an empty smile, and cherish the fond memory of the mall.

I took the lead step in the dance of disengagement.

�Well, I guess I have to get going.� As clever a line as I had ever led with.

�Yeah, its dinner time and my brother is picking me up at Shirley�s in ten minutes.�

�Hey Shirls, can you give me a call later after din?� I asked, trying not to tip my cards too much.

�Yeah, no problem. I think we have something to talk about.� She was so obvious.

�Oh yeah? You think?� I coyly replied.

�Yeah, we need to talk too Shirls?� Sue added.

My heart sank at the foreboding potential of their pending conversation. I reached deep inside to maintain the high road.

�All right then, I guess that�s that! Everyone needs to talk! Everyone is talkin�!� Not a very good job. I probably needed to reach deeper.

Unfortunately my old friend panic had made himself at home in my thoughts. Was this going to be as good as it gets? Was my breath killing her penis enlargement pills? Was she just now realizing the lowliness of her affection?

I had to say something but what? What could I possibly say to rescue this sweet moment from the clutches of rejection like all the others?

I found it.�Okay then � catcha!� My rescue skills needed work.

�It was really nice to meet you Bob. I had a really great time.�

My inner voice wallowed, �Yeah right. And I have a nice personality too. Isn�t that what you want to say? Go on. I can take it!�

�Me too, Sue. Take care.� I answered. Oh well, I was noble.

I turned to Shirley.

�Hey Shirls, talk to ya later!�

With shoulders drooped, I started my trek home in emotional upheaval, feeling exuberance and dread simultaneously. The day�s events played over and over in my head. I forced myself to think about something else, like hockey fights, but to no avail. The feel of her warm wrists kept interrupting. I was in bad shape.

I barely ate dinner that night, which set off all kinds of alarms at home. Mom�s inquisition began: was I feeling okay, did someone steal my money at the mall, was I depressed about school starting in a few short days?

�Nope, I am just falling in love for the very first time. That�s all. There is nothing that can be done. My heart must travel this journey alone. It will find its way�somehow. Thank you though for inquiring.� I indulged my inner self.

I excused myself from the table to retreat to my sanctuary, where I listened to �Suite: Judy Blue Eyes� about forty seven times, waiting for the puppet master�s call. Finally, the phone rang.

�Hello?�

�She really likes you.� She got right to it, a trademark of her no nonsense style.

�Oh God! Really?�

�Yeah. She thinks you�re really cute and funny.�

Suddenly another voice.

�Oh my precious Bobby. My little lover boy.�

Damn! It was my little brother Steve. He could become a real pitbull of pain if I didn�t squelch this immediately.

�Hold on Shirls.�

I placed my hand over the phone.

�Hey Stevey hang up or I�ll chop up your GI Joe!� I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didn�t like playing the GI Joe mutilation card but I was desperate to stop him in his tracks.

I listened into the receiver.

Click.

I removed my hand and continued.

�Sorry about that. So where were we? Oh yeah, �cute�? Can�t I ever be rugged or athletic or something?� I asked despondently.

To me �cute� was a notch above �nice personality�. �Oh, he�s so cute� as in �he�s so cute to like me but I could care less��that kind of cute.

�Forget rugged. She said �cute� and meant it in a good way.�

�In a good way,� I repeated.

�Yes in a good way. Look she LIKES you!�

�Are you sure?�

�Yes, I just got off the phone with her! She wanted to know about your situation.�

�What situation? I have no situation. I�ve never had a situation. I�m situation free!�

�That�s what I told her�not in those words exactly. I smoothed it out for ya.�

�Smoothed what out? I don�t need smoothing.�

�Don�t make me laugh! You need plenty. I told her you were just coming around from a terrible break-up from over a year ago.�

�Oh that�s smooth Shirls!�

�Yeah, I thought you might like it. She thinks you are sensitive and likes that.�

I took a deep breath.

�Wow � now what?�

I was a fish out of water, pathetically incompetent in such matters. Maybe I could get advice from my younger brothers. My mind was racing.

�Listen! There is a get-together tomorrow night at Shnooky�s house. Sue is going and wants you to come over.�

Shnooky lived in this weird world where her dad publicly called her �my little Shnooky�; hence the nickname. Visiting her house was like walking onto the set of Father Knows Best.

�Are you positive? Really? She wants me to go?�

�Yes! Don�t you get it ... she LIKES you.�

�Are you going?�

�Yeah but not until later. Gotta baby-sit till 9:30.�

�What should I do?�

�Well � you could call her for starters and talk to her.�

�Talk to her? What would I say?�

Shirley was losing patience with me.

�You know Bob � I don�t have time for this right now. Just go. Just be there.�

�Just be ��

�Gotta go. Catcha tomorrow night. Good Luck!�

Click. Dialtone.

My life line was gone in an instant. I was swirling in a sea of uneasiness. I wondered what should I do now?

I immediately ditched the idea of calling her, why take the chance of saying something wrong. So I went to bed counting the hours to Shnooky�s instead.

After a long day of worry, 6 p.m. finally rolled around and time to get ready for the big get-together. After showering with my English Leather soap-on-a-rope, I toweled off and sprayed my arm pits with Right Guard, enlarging the ozone hole over Antarctica by about fourteen square miles. Next the goods were crowbarred into two of my cleanest, tightest �fruit of the loom� briefs for precautionary purposes, as the night�s activities could easily trigger an embarrassing situation. After tucking the apparatus in real nice, I put on my favorite faded jeans, held nicely in place by my cool surfer belt. I threw on an undershirt, my best blue long-sleeve oxford shirt, tag still attached, thick matching crew socks, desert boots, topping it all off with an old washed out navy blue crewneck sweater. The sweater served a few purposes. Primarily, I was under the delusion that it was a look. It also might make a useful cover up should the double binding underpants fail to conceal things in the event of a situation.

Once dressed, I had to work on the face, no easy proposition. Apparently, during the prior night while sleeping, no less than four pimples showed up and five long wispy dark chin hairs. A quick buzz from my trusty rotary bladed Norelco and the chin hairs were history. A splash of British Sterling, well more like a dunking, and I was smelling pretty damn good. It was a skillful blend of the natural fruity notes from Prell, the woodsy undertones from the English Leather soap, the bold sporty scent from Right Guard, and the raw sexual energy of British Sterling, coming together in a circus of sensuality as harmonious as a Schoenberg symphonic poem.

This odor thing was very important because it was going to have to mask the pungent stench emitted by the two pounds of Clearasil I was about to cake on the pimples.

With pimples buried, hair combed, and lips glistening in Chapstick, I was ready to go out and conquer the night. I managed to get to the dinner table in time to down some grub, avoiding eye contact and communication with Steve the entire time. Successfully accomplished, I raced upstairs, gargled, brush my teeth and popped some Sen-Sen for added fresh breath insurance. I was as ready as I could be.

At arrival, I greeted Mrs. Shnooky, and made my way downstairs to the finished basement.

There she was. We made eye contact immediately and I smiled a grin so big that I could feel the plaster-like Clearasil on my zits cracking. She looked so beautiful.

We sat close and talked awhile, staring into each other�s eyes the entire time. I could smell her hair. I was melting. At one point she took my hand in her hand. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Her hand was warm and soft; her fingers silky smooth to the touch. It wasn�t just skin a felt. It was flesh; wonderful, living flesh. Instantly, alarms were set off from my brain to every nerve ending in my body. I began to shake uncontrollably. I had three thousand layers of clothing on and I was shivering like a chilled baby. I would learn later on in life that I got the shakes with every new hand I held.

�Hey are you okay?� she asked in the sweetest disarming voice I had ever heard. I inhaled her breath. Electricity instantly shot down to my toes.

�Yeah, I just have these shakes for some reason. I�m not even cold.�

�That�s weird.�

�You�re tellin� me?�

There was an awkward moment of silence. Then she spoke in a whisper.

�Hey, I need to talk to you about something in private. Want to take a walk outside in the snow?�

I stared blankly. I didn�t hear a word she said.

�We could walk over to the country club. It�ll be fun.� She stopped talking and studied me for some kind of response. I needed to say something but what? I played the tape back over in my mind until I found some key words to play off of.

�You want to take a walk?� I nervously repeated.

Oh God the touch of her hand was so nice, I pleaded internally �please don�t let go ... please don�t let go � please, oh please, oh please, don�t let go�.

�I mean sure. We can walk and talk. I mean you can talk while we walk or I can �� she squeezed my hand, squinted at me with her bright blue eyes, and saved me from myself.

�Come on � let�s go.� She said calmly, leading me by the hand up the stairs.

We threw on our coats, gloves and hats, and exited out the back door. Once outside, she put her arm around my waste, and in a reflex reaction I put my arm around her shoulder. I had never hugged a girl before. I started to shake again. Even though it was about twenty degrees out, even though we were swollen from layers of thick heavy clothing, even though I was shaking spastically, and even though my Clearasil was flaking off in crusty chunks, I felt like we were one being.

We continued to make small talk, during which I was able to get her to laugh as we trudged through the snow, crossed the freshly plowed street and walked onto the country club golf course. I didn�t want the moment or feeling to end. It was really dark out, although the dry white snow brighten the way by reflecting what little light passed on by. It was hard to tell from the drifting snow but I think we were walking across a green when she suddenly stopped and turned to face me.

�You�re shaking. Poor baby.� She lifted her arms up and grabbed the collar of my coat. I placed my arms around her waste.

�Remember, I wanted to talk to you in private,� she whispered, her minted breath filling the crisp night air, dancing into my soul.

Here it comes, the �nice personality� speech. I was so short on confidence of any kind. I decided to gallantly cut her off at the pass.

�Yeah, I remember. Hey, look. You don�t have to say �� But before I could be gallant, her glossed lips puckered and headed my way. I instinctively closed my eyes before contact. Then, as if swallowed by the Earth, she stepped off the lip of a giant sand trap we unknowingly had been standing precariously above.

In my effort to grab her as she slid down the slope, my feet went out from under me. I rolled down the hill in hot pursuit, crashing into her at the bottom, some eight feet below. We both began to laugh as she rolled over on top of me. And we laughed some more. Then we laughed a little less, and a little less until the only sounds one could hear were those of our silence and stare. And then she leaned down and kissed me.

What I remember most was that our teeth smacked into each other. I feared I had chipped one of her upper incisors. So I pulled back. She smiled. No blood. Nice whole teeth. Undaunted she tried again. This time we were fine.

For more hours than I wish to reveal, I have wrestled with capturing in words what I had felt at that precise instant. After many awkward, empty attempts, I realized I have neither the vocabulary nor the ability to do so. But that�s okay. I think what I was attempting to do is akin to capturing the majesty of the Grand Canyon in a picture taken by a cell phone camera. It can not be done. And for those who have tried either, they understand what I mean.

I will leave it at this�on Tuesday, December 30th, 1969 at 8:23 p.m. life for me had changed.

Use this famous motto from the television cartoon at your Scooby Doo theme party. Someone was always asking the questions, so you can too! Make your first game a find the Scooby stuffed animal. Whoever finds him gets a prize!

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For quiet entertainment, watch a Scooby movie or television show. Find a giant stuffed or inflatable Scooby Doo character and take every guests picture with it. Send a copy with the thank you note or print it from the computer that day. Each guests will have a way to remember the great Scooby theme party they attended at your house. Save time to open the presents and eat cake too.

posted by ViagramaKain # 2:41 PM