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The Winter Olympics....

Once again the fishing world has been ignored.

As I sit watching a spine tingling, heart thumping, always tension packed Olympic Curling event competition, I can't help but wonder why a fishing event has never been represented in the Olympics.

What are they trying to say?

Are they saying that there is no athletic prowess involved when trying to flick a #12 Adams to a 20 inch ring created by the kiss of an 18 inch Rainbow trout!

Is the firing of a high powered rifle after skiing top enlargement products around on a pair of wooden planks any more demanding than fording a riffle packed stream and tossing a chunk of powerbait deftly into the "honeyhole" pocket containing an 8 inch stocker?

I see no difference.

But then I'm an idiot.

Or am I? Let's at least take a look at some future options for the winter Olympics, that can finally give the fisherman his due when it comes to skill and athleticism....

1) What event shows stamina and grit more than ice fishing? I propose a winter Olympic event that is comprised of ice fishing. In this event, contestants will be timed on their ability to saw a hole in 8 to 10 inches of a frozen lake surface, run in sneakers across the frozen ice to a designated staging area where they will grab up a rod, and stool, and sprint back across the ice to the open hole, bait up, and sit for hours in a fierce northern wind. The athlete then will hopefully, eventually catch a fish, pull his fish from the ice hole, drop it in a bucket, and sprint again across the ice, into a 1975 Ford pick- up truck, drive across the finish line to the cheers, flag waving,and cow bell jingling of his fellow countrymen.

More challenges? Perhaps a couple of fellas name Swen and Ole can sit across from the contestant and constantly be throwing a verbal barrage of "You Betcha's" and "Don't ya know's" at the athlete, as he or she agonizingly attempts to coax a fish out of the water.

Talk about grit!!

Of course the Norwegian contingent might not have a problem with this and be at a penile enlargement decided advantage.HOW do you say "you betcha" in Norwegian anyway?

We will all watch as the hole starts to skim over with ice,and the athlete frantically chips away at the hole to keep it ice free.All the while precious time clicks away as the fish only nibbles at the bait.

They can even hold this event indoors at the Olympic Hockey or Figure Skating venues. It might even make the hockey games more interesting with a few holes in the ice, and figure skating?PLEASE... a double axle into a gaping hole in the ice will add more excitement than Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan living in the same trailer park. Or they can leave a few frozen fish on the ice to help add to the Olympic ambiance.

The events could also easily be held as a "two man" competition with one athlete fishing, while the other builds an ice shack.

If the extreme thrill of the Downhill is your cup a tea, imagine if they hold the event on thin melting ice. The now famous runs of Franz Klammer and Hermann Maier will pale in comparison to the crackling of ice beneath the ice fisherman's stool as he scrambles for shore before disappearing into the frigid waters.

Talk about the agony of defeat....

2)Boat Slalom. Never mind the luge, bobsled, or skeleton(which at first glance appear to require the two major athletic skills of courage and alcohol), try standing up in a drift boat while running a classIV rapid with a 40 pound salmon stripping line off of your reel, hell bent for return to the ocean. Yes, athletes in ten layers of clothing including the mandatory flannel outer jacket, will try to stay afoot while "the driver" navigates the boulder choked channel of a stream. Not only are the contestants timed in this event, but style points are given for the degree of difficulty the athlete shows while doing "gunnel grabs", "spins", and the ever popular "aerials". Throw in a number of slalom gates, and you have the making of an event made for television. Fall in or lose your salmon, and it's sorry Charlie--see you in four years.

"OOOHHH, tough break Vern--Elwood has been training all his life for this moment, and to see it all go overboard in one instant is heartbreaking...."

3) No offense to our Canadian friends north of the border, but --CURLING!!! CURLING!! A combination of bowling on ice and a group of shop keepers trying to keep the storefront spiffy.

Gawd, the winters must be awful up there.

Outside of the obvious "sex appeal"of the Olympic Curlingevents, the only thing more thrilling would be to watch Dick Cheney go quail hunting.

But, given that there is a place on the podium for chiseled curling athletes, I'm sure we could find a spot for the skilled athleticism of the Winter Fly Tying Team !This event would obviously be dominated by the American squad, which has trained year round in a meat locker in Detroit. Size #28 midge after miserable size #28 midge, the Americans have relentlessly been training, by tying these little buggers to 8x tippet--in a meat locker kept at 14 degrees below zero.

That's minus 26 celsius for our European competitors.

There at the Olympic Fly Tying arena, in frigid weather, teams of fly tiers will take to the vice, and tie up various flys. We will watch pained expressions and complete intense concentration as athletes try to get their fingers to work in the icy cold. We will hold our breath as they try to get the hackle and dubbing just right. Precious time will tick away as they blow on their hands, and we watch split screen images of just where the Olympic hopefuls lost time along the way.

Of course,in this two day event, athletes will be judged on speed, style,difficulty, and the ability to catch and release fish.

So, here's to the athletes of the XX th Olympiad, and I will see you fishing rod in hand, in Vancouver in 2010.

Let�s do some pretending.

YOU ARE this widow or widower:

Your kids are strung from hell to breakfast and you seldom hear from three of them.

You are so old that most of your friends, and some of your children, are dead.

You�ve stopped taking medicine for the winter so that you can pay your fuel bill.

Your walks are covered with snow because you are too old to clear them.

You live on Social Security.

You have no savings or pension.

You suffer from arthritis pain day and night.

Sleep is something you did when you were younger.

You�ve got holes in your teeth but no money to have them repaired.

The cotton in your ears is because you have a constant ear infection.

You use a walker to get around the house.

Your car is low on gas so you decide to go to the grocery store but not to church.

You know you shouldn�t drive your car without auto insurance.

You wanted to go to the community dinner for the aged but the article in the paper said they were taking donations. You didn�t have a buck to drop in the box. You didn�t go and nobody brought you a dinner. (You knew that you didn�t have to donate to get your dinner, but you�re penis enlargement pills a proud person, and didn�t want others to know about your problems.)

You have no cable television. Your television set doesn�t work anyway.

The telephone company has threatened to cut off your service.

The power company has given you a grant for the winter so that you will have electricity. (If you die, it won�t be their fault.)

You have no life insurance. You couldn�t keep up with the premiums.

Now pretend again:

YOU ARE this divorced or abandoned woman with school-age children, or, your husband is well and at home, but out of work.

You don�t know where the rent is coming from.

You have insufficient funds and food stamps to feed your family.

The car has a dead battery, but you don�t have money to buy gas anyway.

The kids need shoes because they are growing so fast.

You need personal items because you are a woman but have no money whatsoever to buy them.

Your former friends and neighbors are embarrassed about your poverty and try to ignore you less you ask them for something that you desperately need.

Some neighbors say that your husband is out of work because he is too lazy to find a job.

Your church has never visited you to see if you have needs. You don�t go to church anymore.

Now pretend one more time:

YOU ARE living in a nursing home.

You are confused about what is going on at times; unless someone is kind or cruel to you.

The food tastes like straw.

It�s Christmas time but the vase of flowers has been in the windowsill wilting away since Mother�s Day. Nobody has bothered to empty the vase and you can�t even reach it.

The nurses are kind and efficient but the hourly employees could care less about your welfare. Some are mean and cruel. You use to ask them for help adjusting your bed, sitting you up, handing you a book, and personal needs. Now you wait until the nurse comes, knowing that she will help you. However, the nurse penis enlargement review is busy and can�t always get to you when you have a need.

You are lonely.

You can�t wait to get out of the nursing home.

You will welcome death.

For those who care, here are some things you can do to help the down and out.

REMEMBER: You can�t do something for everybody. You can do something for somebody.

Some charities are able to reach out in a broad way. They solicit money, deduct administrative fees, and spread your wealth.

It�s good that this occurs.

That is not what this article is about except for those who can�t get out and help the needy. If you can�t give help, you can always give cash to the Salvation Army or your local rescue mission.

Try some of these activities :

Meet with your family and tell them that you would like to help a widow, widower, needy family, or a person living in a nursing home.

Identify the family or person you would like to help.

Determine the needs and interest of the person or family.

Decide what you can do to help.

Here are some suggestions :

Select items for a basket such as fruit, cookies you baked, candy and nuts that you know the person or family can eat.

Bake a fruitcake, banana bread, pumpkin bread, or that special bread that only your grandmother could make. Take that to your selected person or family.

Prepare a musical number or two. When you deliver your gift to a home or nursing home, perform your musical number.

Prepare a box of groceries for those who need substance more than cakes or cookies.

If you need to, ask your extended family or church group to help you obtain needed items and gifts for the children.

Present a gift certificate for items at a variety store that sells items that your person or family need. (This is good for those who are busy and the gift can be given anonymously if you like. However, it is better to give a gift of yourself too, showing our love and concern.)

Clean snow of the walks of a widow or widower, offer to do small but needed task, leave a basket or grocery box.

If you are observant, you might notice that an individual needs gloves, a shawl, a hat, etc. Keep your eyes open.

Remember that a gift made or prepared by you will be graciously accepted. So keep everything as personal as you can. If possible, do everything as a family.

One Last Thing

Call the local rescue mission. See if you and your family can help serve a meal. You will not only have a great time meeting others that serve the needy, you will have tons of fun serving the food and accepting the thanks of those you are serving.

I guarantee it!

The End

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